[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] your destiny is with your saving the world i don't know for sure perhaps we send you in a caravan
[37.1s] and you split off perhaps move towards water deep you will find a temple of bahamut where
[44.3s] maybe you can get some more direction on your destiny as you hear the sound of the caravans
[51.4s] beginning to move out okay a glim i guess uh i guess we're gonna go save the world with you
[61.0s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we're a dnd fifth edition actual play podcast and i'm your dungeon
[66.6s] master russe More with me today is Amy More i'm a bug but not really i play
[76.8s] sullivan slight a lightfoot halfling rogue who is also kind of a bug and carla johnson
[85.3s] i feel like i need clarification on what you mean by bug but i am glim a dragonborn pAlydin
[92.8s] and tom laird i would also like clarity on the statement uh and i play moot a half orc
[101.3s] wild magic sorcerer for those of you who are not patrons uh totally okay but you may have
[108.2s] seen the video if you are a patron of me completely mouthing along with welcome to
[114.1s] dungeon dragons i'm your dnd russe More and with me today and i'm just like mouthing it along
[121.3s] and russe is elbowing me i see i didn't see the elbowing and i'm your dungeon master russe
[128.2s] More that's what that was it was punctuated by elbows sharp elbows that's fun that's how
[135.8s] it goes so where you can see that is over on Patreon Patreon.com slash dumb dragon guess what
[140.1s] a sell we have for that one you want to see me elbow my wife yeah sometimes we're just out of
[148.9s] things to talk about and today is apparently one of those things i guess but when you're
[153.4s] a patron you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron fen the goblin
[159.0s] oh thanks fen i like that it's fen the goblin it's not usually such a character name it's
[167.4s] normally more of a human name could this possibly be fantastic from our discord it is
[173.8s] fantastic way to out her oh i know it's there she i mean she she talks pretty freely about
[179.0s] her character fen the goblin so yeah it's probably fine okay and you too can have an
[184.6s] episode dedicated to you over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast fuck it let's play dnd
[192.2s] the three of you are together for the first time ever i think no last episode you were
[197.4s] together at the beginning of the episode too but you weren't real friends now you're real
[201.3s] friends maybe i don't know i'm not going to tell you how to live your life you're on a
[205.8s] caravan i think that was that was in passing the ball
[216.3s] you're on a caravan i immediately dropped it
[220.5s] moon would too wouldn't he be like yeah he doesn't know it he'd be trying to lobster it
[225.6s] yeah how are you supposed to catch up with these claws you previously had been snuck out
[233.0s] of neverwinter because uh you may have found yourself in a wrong way with the sons of ala
[240.6s] hondra andro yes with the sons of ala gondor nailed it gondar doesn't matter you're gone now
[252.6s] fuck those guys fuck those guys until they come back you know at another time
[256.5s] um who knows the inevitable coming back of at the ala hondra squad the eye of ala gondar
[265.3s] but you headed out in the morning and you've been traveling for most of the day and the
[268.5s] group that you're you were kind of put with by laden menda the uh tiefling who smuggled you
[274.2s] out um seems to be just kind of a mixed bag of people from from all different walks you're
[281.3s] not particularly you're not specifically with any with like the soldier groups or the mercenary
[286.4s] groups uh you're with a kind of a group of more refugees and people looking you know kind of
[292.2s] in your situation without saying that they're running from anything in particular so he didn't
[297.9s] choose like the most patient people or like the people with like you know he just chose
[306.2s] like the odd squad so we could fit in with them yeah so you'd fit in yeah exactly the odd squad
[312.3s] we already have our name guys i like that i like that so early i know it took us a hundred
[318.6s] episodes in the last and we didn't even do we didn't even do it we made four star get started
[324.9s] i actually you know what i take back odd squad i want to wait until we have a guest and make
[328.1s] them do it it's tradition it's true the wagon that you have put all your stuff in
[334.1s] is owned by a human male named hillip atrium he is a curly mustachioed fellow kind of a five o'clock
[344.5s] shadow everywhere else has a purple beret as well as a purple suede jacket he he has green
[352.3s] striped pants that kind of bloom out a little bit along the thigh does he in his spare time
[358.2s] run the moulin rouge you never know by any chance i love him what's his name hillip what hillip
[364.2s] atrium atrium atrium atrium a t r e m well he sounds fun he does um i though as soon as you said
[373.6s] like mustache and then you said five o'clock shadow everywhere else i'm picturing you like
[379.1s] on his face everywhere no he's trimmed his chest it's growing back in a little bit he's
[383.3s] wearing a deep v you can kind of see it five o'clock shadow everywhere he's really a werewolf
[388.4s] in disguise he just shaves everywhere else it's a lengthy process it takes him a whole day
[394.5s] and then he's got to start over again but that's uh that's who and you're with another
[399.1s] few people who you probably haven't necessarily met yet but what are you doing what are you
[404.4s] doing right now you're currently traveling it's about kind of late morning mid afternoon ish
[409.9s] is uh is hillip nearby russ he is manning the wagon okay mood's gonna climb up near the front
[420.9s] and he's gonna he's gonna say uh hillip if you were to rent one of these like horse and
[427.2s] carriage things out for a night how how much would you charge for that uh excuse me what
[434.6s] do you mean rent out my carriage well like you know if you weren't using it for the night but
[439.8s] you wanted to use it to earn money even though you weren't using it you let someone else
[445.1s] buy it from you for like a day or so how much would you charge them well um it's just very
[450.7s] fine carriage very fine horses uh i'd probably charge i don't know half a silver maybe okay half
[459.4s] half a silver okay if it's just the night i mean you're going to bring it back in the
[463.0s] morning yes yes well i mean yeah you'd have to think that person would bring it back in the
[467.1s] morning okay half a silver i'm just gonna i'm gonna just go to the back now uh thanks thanks for
[473.3s] answering that question scream but of course yes yes uh any other questions about uh currency
[478.6s] and and the such you just let me know all right um yeah i i think that's the only one
[484.1s] i'm gonna have but i'll come back if i if i have more wonderful wonderful and you're gonna
[489.3s] write that down in your notebook it's all up here he taps his forehead it's a whole new man
[497.3s] hey can i read your notebook uh sure i guess oh thanks what's your notebook look like it is a
[507.4s] small kind of what are those notebooks where you like flip it over like your next page will
[513.3s] flip like a standout pad sure we'll go with that so there's a is it coil bound so yeah it's
[519.8s] not like a high technology for say it's like uh it's like a flip book more than anything
[525.5s] kind of kind of like a like a ticket book like a cop's writing you a ticket
[530.8s] or a reporter no pat oh yeah there we go i i take out my um fountain pen monocle oh
[539.2s] yeah well you know i do have bring in some prop work please and i start to write in um in moot's
[547.6s] notebook what are you what are you writing in there can i see hey no it's private
[555.5s] but it's my notebook well yeah it's your notebook you're gonna see it but it's not her
[560.9s] notebook so you you don't know can you will you show me after can you just show me uh if
[567.7s] it's unless it's too private yeah that's i don't i don't know what he's writing in there so if it's
[573.4s] if it's not if it's not good then you first caught me like sketching yeah i spent some time
[581.6s] in prison with soly so i know he has a pretty awesome sense of humor yeah you're right blue
[588.9s] sense of humor and it's great he's very funny ah you're just buttering me up no you can't see
[594.7s] it it's not done yet and i go back to scribbling in the notebook and yeah like that
[602.2s] and are you good at drawing whatever you're drawing do you have art skills oh uh oh yeah
[609.9s] yeah i can uh i can draw many different things um almost uh anatomically correct
[619.1s] have you have you drawn a lot of birds i don't think that the silence that just hangs
[633.5s] uh well what do you mean by birds well you know what a bird is right yeah and i flip you
[640.7s] the middle finger you guys don't deserve sully
[653.2s] i look at glam and is that a bird that's not any bird i've ever seen
[658.6s] oh well you see sometimes when you're telling someone to like
[663.0s] buzz off you make that symbol and that tells them like get out of here buzz off i'm not
[670.2s] happy with you right now oh yeah because you know everybody hates birds
[678.5s] didn't realize we were with a bird hater oh no oh no am i in your bad book uh no it's just
[688.0s] the one book so do you guys like to play like any road games or well yeah um i got this
[696.2s] uh this set of dice here oh yeah maybe we should play yeah okay
[705.0s] i've never really played many dice games but sure i'm i'm in for it what is most popular dice
[710.6s] game you tell me you're the one who owns dice i also have a dice set so like let's fucking do
[716.5s] this let's are you guys in the back of one of the wagons are you like walking alongside
[722.6s] oh i'm assuming i'm in the back of the way it seems like we were in the back because
[730.1s] just confirming yeah okay i i know sully's super lazy so there's and short legs like there's
[736.9s] no way he'd be jogging to keep up with the wagon i don't think sully jogs
[745.1s] okay do you really want to play a dice game yeah let's play a dice game i'm trying to think
[750.0s] of a good like fantasy name for yahtzee i can't come up with anything so we could do that or we
[755.5s] could play like a truth or dare because we're just getting to know each other right now
[759.2s] oh yeah i like that that's backstory stuff too that's more fun yeah go for it
[766.5s] well i have a dice set too but what if instead we play truth or dare truth or dare
[774.2s] it's like being in high school again exactly it's such a thing school of hard knocks right
[779.0s] sully oh yeah you know me so who wants to go first well it was your idea so okay i want truth
[788.8s] who's gonna ask me have you ever been kissed i mean i'm 25 i've been kissed well i can't say
[797.3s] that i'm you hear from up front hello it's like uh excuse me pardon me uh dragonborn
[806.2s] they don't really have lips so how does kissing feel
[811.2s] it's more of like uh um we have these really long tongues oh so silly more tongues more tongues
[820.9s] than lips so it's kind of like two snakes battling yeah yeah exactly like kind of sexy
[827.6s] like that that's cool all right back to driving the wagon carla's face when she just said that
[836.9s] just made my heart explode thank you for that carla okay well it's my turn now
[844.2s] moot same question have you ever been kissed i think hey i think are you the youngest
[850.9s] i'm 25 uh yeah i think so how old are you uh yeah i i'm only 17
[859.4s] i don't think anyone else is is younger than me well how old are you sully well i'm 18
[866.1s] so i got you off by a whole year so moot you're the baby of the group have you ever been
[871.9s] kissed whoa doesn't he have to say truth or dare first oh you're right oh my own game i'm
[877.7s] forgetting the rules sorry moot truth or dare um i'll do i'll do truth well i bet you can
[885.5s] guess what the question's gonna be have you ever been kissed uh yeah um one time a couple years
[893.3s] ago at a birthday party were you playing spin the bottle or something we were playing spin
[898.8s] the tankard yeah so with the tankard the open end would be the end that was the pointy end
[903.9s] uh well you spin it uh standing up and it's just wherever the handle points oh
[910.0s] uh okay um i guess it's sully's turn to truth or or dare why i'm gonna have to choose dare
[920.1s] oh well what do we want to make him do glim
[923.8s] um tell him to show me what he put in the book well you have to ask the question
[930.0s] it's not her turn so you know just uh just thinking of something good here what do i want sully to do
[943.4s] i mean like i feel like he'd do anything so it's kind of hard because he's not going
[947.7s] to be embarrassed i don't think maybe he just talks a big game and would be embarrassed who
[955.0s] knows i don't know sully i dare you to moon one of the other wagons in the caravan so just so
[965.8s] that we're clear on the terminology because i'm not from here i wouldn't you you want me to
[972.6s] to show them my butt yep yeah okay
[979.3s] okay and with the parting of the curtain i assume there's a curtain on the back of the
[985.0s] caravan wagon there is now there is now um i haul trowze down and i shake it at the front
[993.1s] of the other caravan i'm assuming um moot and glim can see over top and through the
[1000.3s] through the probably i'm very sure yeah oh it's a tiny tochi so you see a younger female
[1007.8s] driving this caravan and she's not really paying attention as this begins
[1013.3s] and then realizes what's happening and has this look of like what what excuse me what
[1019.6s] are you doing and as she yells out uh one of the wagon wheels hits up like a big pothole
[1026.2s] and you see that wheel like break and fly off and the wagon falls to the ground and
[1033.3s] she's like oh my god it's her wagon yeah
[1039.4s] still got it um i haul my trousers up and i and i jump off the back of the
[1047.4s] caravan wagon to um to to help her out yeah i say weapon of ass destruction
[1056.3s] i say hillip the the carriage behind us dropped a wheel we're gonna help
[1060.2s] oh yes yes yes jump out he uh he pulls the caravan off to the side and so people other
[1065.8s] people can pass lady you get so de so distracted that i can i help you do you like anything you
[1074.1s] see i'm just kidding it was a dear we were playing truth or dare i overheard that some
[1080.5s] of you were miners i don't know if this should be a thing that i should be interested in i
[1083.4s] don't think any of us work in a mine but i mean i'm not entirely sure where moot comes from
[1089.1s] so okay well it's i'm not gonna blame this on you but do any of you know how to fix a wagon
[1097.7s] no no but i can't offer some some comfort i go arms open no no all right thanks though
[1107.9s] i mean i think we could if we all team up we could probably figure it out
[1112.5s] did the wheel just fall off for us like did it just pop off the
[1115.9s] axle or whatever it did pop off the axle but it also looks like it crushed underneath as it
[1121.5s] fell into this pothole so it is broken and off she's trying to calm down the horses hey glim i
[1128.6s] dare you to fix the wheel well i'm gonna try i mean i can like with help we could like
[1134.6s] lift it up and get it back on but we need someone to fix the wheel um do you got
[1140.5s] any spears in the back no no this is actually like the fourth wheel i've broken on this
[1146.7s] on this journey it's oh good it wasn't just my ass then i mean that didn't help but
[1155.6s] yeah uh everybody make a perception check oh i don't even have my dice i forgot how to play
[1162.4s] i'll be right back it's a nat 20 she doesn't need her dice well i still got a four i mean
[1168.7s] it's still as good that you were it's still only a 19 oh well it's still a nat 20 though
[1175.9s] did you say you got a nat 20 i did although i have a minus one which rust just so kindly
[1181.9s] reminded me amy it's just a 19 you will never get a 21 perception skill checks my perception
[1190.1s] needs to be so good with the uh uh five hey that's one better than mine sully regardless
[1198.1s] of your 19 or natural 20 you see um another wagon a little bit further behind um and um
[1206.6s] it's an uncovered wagon and you see uh various wood and tools kind of sticking up and out of
[1213.1s] the back oh hey guys look the wagon behind hold on i i run toward the wagon and i kind of
[1222.6s] wave it down a little bit as you get closer you see a female halfling a little bit older
[1229.0s] who stands up and waves to to the driver and she hops down and comes over to you and says
[1235.1s] yes yes uh what seems to be the problem here you break your wagon ah yes she broke a wagon
[1240.5s] looking at my fine derriere you know what i mean we were wondering if you uh why was she
[1246.0s] looking at your derriere well it was a it's the truth or dare yeah uh that poor girl
[1253.0s] it's gonna start to hurt my feelings after a while
[1257.3s] is there anything that you could do i see you got a lot of tool type things in your wagon
[1261.8s] uh yeah yeah we could uh we could maybe help you out there um let's go take a look awesome
[1267.8s] look i found some help i'm not just a sweet piece of ass she and another male halfling
[1276.5s] and a uh human female i'll kind of gather a couple tools and go over and help and
[1282.2s] they look at it and say yeah we can probably get you up and going uh
[1285.7s] you guys want to like see if you can lift i don't know about you but uh that's hurtful
[1292.1s] i have some i have okay well you can you can lift it too that's totally fine um but if you can like
[1298.9s] lift it we can maybe we'll we'll try and fix the wheel first that's probably what we should do but
[1303.8s] then when we're ready if you lift it and we get it on there should be good the human uh female
[1310.1s] she picks up the wheel and rolls it back to her wagon to begin working on it can you roll
[1316.6s] wheels been crushed just like goo goo yeah goo goo it's still got some roll to it
[1322.4s] the driver of the wagon uh the broken one the horses have kind of calmed down she says well
[1329.4s] not sure this is the most uh great this is the greatest meeting but um i'm i'm i'm
[1335.2s] winifred and you are i'm sully hi winifred i'm glim nice to meet you pleasure to meet you
[1342.6s] and i'm moot nice to meet you moot uh where where are you three traveling to where where was this
[1348.0s] one going well you know the the well of the dragons like everybody else you're with the
[1353.6s] you're with the because some a lot of us are breaking off and going to to water deep well
[1358.5s] yeah i may come to water deep too i mean i've never been there but i hear it's uh it's
[1362.3s] quite the place yeah we haven't we haven't quite decided how about you oh heading to
[1368.2s] water deep i mean taking this back to uh to to my bosses when he was up here purchasing purchasing
[1375.0s] all these these casks you look in the back there's just casks filled uh all in the back
[1380.7s] and it's just been the hardest trip like since i got all these things it just seems one thing
[1386.5s] after the other just keeps going wrong hmm is it because they're really heavy and full of
[1392.1s] liquid or is it because they're cursed why would they be cursed do you have a
[1399.0s] do you have a wagon full of cursed barrels i didn't think so is your boss a cursed barrel
[1404.6s] salesman no no it's a tough business it's that's a tough business to begin not a lot
[1409.8s] of market for that i wouldn't think no i thought he just sold casks but maybe maybe
[1414.5s] they're maybe they're cursed i don't know has anything else been going wrong or just
[1418.1s] the wheels breaking are the casks full or are they empty are they filled with souls so some some
[1424.0s] of them have some things in them but a lot of them are empty um you just had them you know
[1427.7s] fashioned fashioned up in uh up in neverwinter and so you know selling selling goods down in
[1434.5s] water deep did you know that ghost souls um yeah i'm aware ghosts are souls um but
[1443.4s] no i mean some of them are empty she walks over and knocks on them most most of them
[1447.2s] are empty there's a couple that have that are full but do any knock back make a perception check
[1455.5s] a left no knock back um but yeah i mean i broke yeah four wheels horses got scared off at one
[1463.8s] point and fortunately got them back can't get all the way back to water deep without an issue
[1469.3s] sounds like you're having a heck of a time uh you want a little bit of this and i hand her my um
[1474.2s] um my flask yeah what water skin wine skin yeah oh uh what what is it it's wine i open it and i
[1486.8s] sniff it what does it smell like oh is it the one you found in the thing yes it doesn't smell
[1493.0s] very good i go it's just oh never mind oh no i put the lid back on like it's that's going
[1501.3s] off yeah that's no good i'm okay i've got i've got water here okay are you okay do you need
[1507.0s] something no no yeah i'm fine okay good it's one of those i make you gag right okay well um
[1517.2s] good sully walks around the side like dry heaves like i need a minute the female halfling
[1524.6s] from the other wagon was standing behind you and says what is your issue what what do you
[1530.3s] mean you're flashing your your your took us at fine young women and you're trying to give them
[1538.5s] spoiled wine why i didn't know the wine was spoiled and me flashing my fine high knee was
[1544.6s] not my idea we were playing truth or dare in the back fair enough i guess kids kids do what
[1550.5s] kids do right kids big yeah yeah yeah okay i'm young enough to make bad decisions right what's
[1557.0s] your deal what do you mean what's my deal you just you know on this caravan to make other people
[1562.7s] feel bad about themselves as a matter of fact that's my main job over here on the journey
[1566.9s] Volkswagen you just kind of keep everybody in line you like the matron you could say so
[1572.2s] yeah yeah no we uh we travel we we're a roving group who uh come around and and fix
[1577.8s] up things where things need fixing fortunately we were here to help help this fine young lady
[1583.0s] which i had nothing to do with by the way i believe you okay good wholeheartedly so wait
[1588.2s] you're you're traveling carpenters yeah so then you know how to fix a wheel no problem
[1596.4s] yeah that's that's why this is the lady from the wagon that's why that's why is it
[1603.4s] came to fix the wheel isabelle took the wheel she rolled it away to go fix it i i brought
[1608.4s] her back because i saw that the wagon was full of tools have you been drinking from this flask
[1614.3s] because you really shouldn't buddy it's not good stuff i can't tell if he's serious or not
[1622.6s] is tom just not paying attention i don't know i thought i thought the driver of the wagon
[1628.5s] that broke the wheel took the wheel away and no one had claimed the new one yet to like
[1634.8s] oh to like fix it up or anything sorry no my description might have been off but yeah the
[1640.2s] the female human from the tool wagon had rolled it away got it and now i'm talking to the half
[1647.3s] sully's talking to the halfling around the other side of the wagon we're still on the other
[1651.8s] side of the wagon with winifred yeah because i'm dry heaving she went to go barf i did
[1658.6s] and the halfling followed her i think i just just you're just kind of there just kind of right
[1664.1s] she's there to be there well it's uh it's good that you were able to stop and help this fine
[1669.3s] lady after you may or may not have uh assisted in you just finished saying that you without a
[1675.0s] doubt knew that i had nothing to do with that so like make up your mind i i believe you i
[1680.3s] believe you name's barbara hey barbara i'm sully nice to meet you sully and we do the
[1686.2s] secret um halfling handshake so you tell me what you do with for a secret halfling handshake
[1692.2s] okay so it goes like you have to do with me so it goes like you put your hands out to each
[1697.8s] other and then a little bit away but then you come back in for it firm shake up twice pull
[1704.1s] back pound it and then slap the back your hands together and that's it so she does the motions
[1713.3s] but it was just like a beat behind you trying to figure out what you're trying to do
[1718.5s] as you're doing it but she's like yeah this is totally cool
[1728.8s] so sully gets a feeling like she doesn't really know what the halfling handshake is
[1733.6s] and then starts to question who taught him the halfling handshake and all that
[1740.6s] hmm interesting um okay well as you finish the handshake isabel comes back with the wheel
[1748.3s] well if you um these are all going to be the same voice it doesn't matter if you just help me
[1754.0s] lift it we can sneak us on there and hopefully get us get us moving again okay sure let's
[1761.7s] let's give it our best shot three of you are helping yeah everybody roll a strength check
[1771.0s] uh 18 10 15 uh well two of you got higher than a 15 so you're able to uh to lift it
[1780.7s] sully it gets to a certain point and i don't know if sully just stops lifting
[1787.0s] just just when past his reach what can he do yeah i have a feeling like i'm holding on
[1792.1s] to it like i'm dangling i don't think you're holding it up that high though i don't think
[1798.6s] there's any need for that but um but they uh you lift it high enough that they're able to
[1803.0s] get the wheel back on there and secure it back on um and they tell you put it down and
[1808.4s] then give it a second just to make sure everything holds um and then uh
[1812.8s] sounds like everything's ready to go so as well let's uh let's all hop back in the wagon get
[1817.3s] on the way okay do you want to hop in your wagon no you go hop in your wagon and keep
[1822.8s] your keep your keep your butt in your pants nobody needs to see that around here yes ma'am
[1828.2s] it's a family caravan that's not true fair enough well it was nice to meet all of you
[1834.7s] i hope you have better luck winifred yeah yeah me too i uh i hope so thank you well if
[1842.0s] if you need any more help you can always ask i will thank you very much glen she hops back up
[1848.5s] into the wagon nice to nice to meet you all well i'm sure we'll we'll see you if you're
[1852.4s] you're heading the way to water deep i'm gonna go get back in the in hillip's wagon i guess
[1859.7s] i too clamor up into the wagon and i say we're gonna keep playing this game can you guys
[1864.5s] like give me ds and stuff that don't involve me taking my clothes off crossing actions back
[1869.4s] there it did it did sort of create a weird vibe for the rest of that interaction didn't it
[1874.6s] it yeah that's my bad guys well it seemed like a safe one i forgot that when you're
[1880.8s] you know in a caravan there isn't really much for road you're sort of just beside the same
[1885.2s] people full time so yeah all right well um you guys know any other games or you just want to
[1892.0s] like have a nap or something i could go for a nap silly throws a notebook at moot what's
[1901.6s] what did you put in there i don't know what do you see in there
[1905.5s] oh no you drew it you sent you sent tom a text or something if you don't want glim to know
[1911.8s] oh sure yeah hold on yes that's a good idea oh fun fun fun moot's looking at this sweet
[1917.9s] picture that that sully drew we'll find out what that is at a later time maybe hopefully
[1923.8s] and uh yeah you kind of drift off have naps and go around and meet some of the other
[1929.0s] people in the caravan you travel most of the day and it gets to be
[1932.7s] evening and the caravan pulls over and sets up camp
[1946.6s] we're back at the middle feeling great about things and we're gonna tell you how you can
[1951.0s] win a cool book and then we're gonna give you that book in maybe two or three weeks yeah
[1956.8s] yeah wow i like it it was very freeform i like it quite a bit that's what i do yeah i mean most
[1963.6s] people feel the need to try to rhyme yeah but you didn't even you didn't you squashed that
[1969.0s] urge to rhyme you just did your own thing and i really i like it i like your confidence that's
[1974.7s] what happens when you just put me on the spot like that but welcome back to the middle
[1978.2s] everybody uh thank you for being here with this lovely lovely episode and your lovely
[1982.9s] lovely people and we want to give you a cool cool book for entering our contest is that book
[1988.6s] ghosts of salt marsh that's the book god it's a good book i got it in one you did it so all you
[1994.3s] got to do is make a rap no no i mean if you do you don't have to do that we'll appreciate
[2001.2s] that but you don't have to that's not how you enter the contest amy missed it the entire
[2004.9s] thing last time she just kind of showed up at the end and took all the credit so all you
[2008.6s] got to do is you got to share an episode either on twitter using that hashtag dumb dragon cast
[2014.2s] yep and tell tell people that you like us or you can go to facebook click the link down in
[2019.8s] the description and share that to your page and then leave us a little comment say how much
[2025.3s] how much you did it and also tell us that you did share it just because yeah privacy
[2029.6s] settings sometimes we can't really tell so that's what more what i was getting at
[2034.2s] how much you did it and what i really want you guys to know is just how weird russ's hand
[2039.5s] movements are throughout this entire thing so i was just gonna say that like you can't see
[2043.6s] this but russ is doing some really intense like typing yeah and there's a lot of finger
[2048.1s] pointing it's yeah it's good i've seen those work on a computer a lot of times and he
[2055.1s] doesn't he doesn't type like this up near his chin like he's doing and it's like spidery
[2060.2s] and weird i wish you could see it although i don't it's so all you got to do is you got
[2066.0s] to enter a contest and you win a copy of the ghost of salt marsh which contest ends august
[2071.8s] 31st and then we'll send it to you so thanks so please enter and we love you love you bye
[2084.2s] hey there we're dm to gm i'm your dm from Dumbgeons and Dragons Russ More
[2088.9s] and i'm your gm from the end of time and other bothers shawn howler and what we do here at dm
[2093.5s] to gm is we answer your questions to help you feel more comfortable playing the games you want
[2099.4s] to play and what questions would those be russ they are what game genre would you like to run
[2104.6s] what system are you familiar with or are you looking to use and finally what hurdle is
[2110.0s] stopping you from running the game that you want to run and we don't always agree but nine
[2115.1s] times out of 10 i think we're pretty much on the same page i like mazes shawn doesn't it's a big
[2119.8s] thing don't worry about yeah aside from the maze thing we want to share our real experiences
[2124.6s] what we've learned what's been helpful so that other people can get going and because a lot
[2129.6s] of these hurdles are just in their head so all you got to do is send us the answer to those
[2133.8s] questions to dm to gm cast at gmail.com and we will do our best to answer them and then
[2143.0s] listen to us where do they listen to us shawn they can listen to us anywhere they can find podcasts
[2148.6s] just search for dm to gm send us your questions dm to gm cast at gmail.com then listen every other
[2156.8s] friday wherever you download podcasts or visit dm to gm.com dm to gm get your game started
[2164.2s] hello calls back and says well it's um this is where we stop and you got things to to sleep in
[2176.5s] yeah i do do you guys too yeah i mean um laden gave us some stuff before we left so
[2185.4s] yeah yeah good good all right well we'll just camp here uh you know what after we get
[2191.4s] everything set up i got i got i got an idea you guys seemed like you might be able to help me
[2196.0s] with it i'll come right back okay i'm just gonna go put the horses and ties him up and he zips
[2202.2s] off so so moot what did what did solid draw on your book can you tell me it's if it's
[2209.8s] private you don't have to tell me i'm just so curious i mean i can it had to do with
[2215.4s] uh your conversation with uh with hillip about uh making out oh okay i figured it was
[2223.2s] some kind of sex thing yeah it's a it's a pretty crude sketch of you and me
[2229.2s] making out with lots of tongue and when i say lots of tongue i mean like a crazy abnormal
[2237.3s] amount of tongue right like a lot even for a dragonborn yeah like a ridiculous amount of
[2243.4s] tongue well and how sully's art is he good at it um i mean i wouldn't say good okay but i knew
[2252.0s] who both the people were in the drawing so that's something that's something i mean also he was
[2257.8s] looking at us when he was drawing it so that also was a dead giveaway true that's a really
[2264.3s] good point well thanks for telling me i mean and maybe thanks for not showing me yeah i mean
[2270.1s] i don't it's it's it's a little much that sounds right for sully don't you think he's so funny
[2278.3s] yeah he seems okay
[2282.7s] am i still sleeping i thought we'd gotten out and we're like milling around kind of as we
[2288.5s] wait for hillip to come back with with his crazy ideas with his idea so uh yeah you two
[2297.3s] are offsetting up kind of your bed rolls and nearing around the the camp area fire area
[2303.0s] what's sully doing sully is i think sully's like just like slowly waking up he had fallen
[2310.5s] asleep in the back of the the back of the caravan and just kind of like sitting on the
[2315.8s] back of the caravan legs dangling over just kind of looking at all the industrious folks
[2321.0s] getting their things set up and i feel like he's a little bit like the grasshopper
[2327.9s] in the fall instead of like the ant after i set up my bed roll then i start doing my evening
[2335.1s] workout routine which is a series of like calisthenics and like push-ups and you know
[2340.8s] because i got to save the world so i just kind of go off to the side and start start
[2346.1s] going through my routine you catch the eye of a couple people and they're like yeah that's
[2350.6s] that's a pretty good they come over and there's a man and a woman they say can
[2354.8s] you mind if we just you know kind of follow your lead there oh absolutely i'd love it great
[2360.9s] at the end of the evening she has like an i like leading zumba classes exactly everyone has a
[2368.2s] stump in front of them there's a step class going on it's a real zumba style bard comes
[2373.8s] over and some sweet dance music starts up yeah i love it i love everything you're saying
[2379.6s] totally uh that's awesome um you see uh moot assuming you're kind of near the bed roll area
[2387.9s] sully and glim you see hillip come back over to moot and where did your friends go i'm not
[2393.1s] entirely sure where sully went but you can see there's a bunch of people over there working
[2397.8s] out with glim wow she really just rallies the crowd doesn't she yeah i think she's kind of
[2404.1s] got that natural leader thing going on for her cool well she's very bendy too
[2409.5s] right surprisingly so for a dragonborn who knew who knew anyways sully shuffles up well when
[2416.5s] maybe when they all come back here i've got i've got some you guys are you guys are not with
[2423.6s] like the the malicious no oh no we're not really here to fight
[2430.2s] oh okay but what i'm saying three more of these
[2435.8s] he he kind of waves at you glim oh and i i wave like i'll just i'll just be a minute
[2444.2s] okay and then i tell my people like okay just do three more sets of this
[2448.6s] and then you'll be good for the night and i come over
[2453.5s] okay well it's that's very good it gets blood flowing gets people sleeping very good it's
[2458.2s] very nice for for you to do that for the people of not many people do those sorts of things
[2463.0s] anymore not for the people not for the people anyways so as i was telling your friends here
[2470.3s] you you aren't you aren't going to fight the big the big battle no well i mean
[2477.9s] i am destined to save the world but you mentioned that 12 times to different people
[2482.7s] on the way but i think we're gonna drop off in water deep i don't think we're gonna head
[2490.1s] for the well of the dragons cool cool cool so you're like adventurers yeah um and i kind
[2496.8s] of look at the two yeah yeah i think we're adventurers yes very neat very neat well you
[2503.3s] know the adventurers adventures they got to fund their adventures right there's this there's
[2509.2s] this old rumor old saying over near here uh big treasure big fun big fun we go find the
[2518.2s] big treasure we have big fun but there's this old old town rumor to be around here that maybe
[2524.4s] the three of you and me we go and we we find and if maybe we there is treasure maybe you
[2531.0s] know split it to four ways you know 50 50 25 25 and you yeah no that math doesn't add up
[2540.0s] for me okay 30 20 20 20 that does not even add up to 100 math was not my strong suit see
[2550.5s] how about how about we just split it four ways and see what happens yeah it's 25 percent each
[2555.9s] yeah well what's what's the story behind this supposed treasure oh well there's there's this
[2562.0s] treasure um i see no real some say 100 gold some say 500 gold some say a million gold so
[2569.4s] it's very fLexible in what the rumors are saying but for centuries there was a great
[2575.8s] windmill blew the darkness from the woods working as a filter to sweep the land from
[2582.0s] wicked spirits is very you don't want those spirits in there but there was a magical
[2587.8s] orb inside the windmill and it went missing so the windmill had stopped
[2594.0s] and then it was taken over maybe by some evil things and drove all the people away
[2600.4s] hey did you know that
[2613.9s] uh did i know that ghosts
[2617.7s] souls ghosts are souls yeah sorry did you just learn this today
[2627.2s] oh yeah i've been learning so much today very cool very cool uh regardless
[2634.2s] evil rumor to be raining over the peaceful hollow of the windmill town
[2642.1s] so maybe we just go see if there's some gold there so are we looking for gold are we looking
[2646.8s] for a magical an orb i'm not sure i love the storytelling well i mean really we just want
[2652.9s] the gold i mean where does the gold come into it yeah there's there was no mention of gold in
[2658.2s] the story the rumor is the gold is in the town oh but it's an evil town now but it's an evil
[2665.1s] town but no people live there evil lives there but maybe maybe a lot of gold too and we sneak
[2672.2s] in under just to see if we can find it under under what under the blanket of night
[2679.8s] oh the shadows move with the shadows yeah all right yeah yeah i could go for some treasure
[2686.2s] i'm always up for adventure you know i'm on this this caravan all day all the time and
[2691.8s] you know sometimes it's good to go stretch your legs and do some calisthenics as they say
[2696.0s] over there and maybe go find some gold and if we find a magical orb and get rid of the evils
[2701.4s] that'd be cool too but it's all rumors nobody's i don't know anybody who's actually
[2706.2s] been there it's just supposed to be in this area
[2710.6s] well i don't really care that much about the gold but i would love to vanish evil from a town
[2715.7s] that sounds like something i would really enjoy yeah this this magic orb sounds interesting
[2723.0s] yeah well the orb is supposed to keep the windmill going so i mean i don't care what you
[2726.6s] do with the orb and you can so i think i think what he whispers to sully i think what
[2732.1s] they're saying is we split it 50 50 you and i and they keep the orb and vanish evil and then
[2737.4s] they're cool oh yeah i definitely heard that yeah that's what i heard too yeah for sure yeah
[2742.8s] so are we in i say yes i mean it could just be a fun night just you know old buddies
[2749.9s] old pals traveling through the forest shenanigans ensue shenanigans ensue sully got it up top
[2758.8s] yeah
[2761.6s] uh sure let's let's check it out cool beans all right let me just uh go make sure the horses are
[2769.8s] properly secured get somebody to watch them just in case you know and then we'll go uh
[2774.4s] go ahead into the woods you grab what you need okay
[2779.3s] that hillip is quite the storyteller i like that guy it's great he makes me seem normal
[2788.2s] uh hillip comes back after a moment he's like okay you ready to go
[2792.5s] let's go i got wind i got i got maybe i shouldn't have got windafred to watch the horses she says
[2797.4s] bad things happen to her ah well yeah she's cursed why would you say that well i don't know
[2802.8s] maybe she needs an orb oh oh yeah cool well maybe we go find her an orb i don't know what
[2809.6s] he's gonna get from this whole excursion but oh he's he's looking for some uh more
[2816.1s] practice with his lobster cloth sully has no idea what you do
[2823.8s] it's fair i mean to be fair the three of you have no idea what each other does
[2829.8s] sully's like he's part man part lobster obviously some sort of spirit animal yep
[2840.9s] so you guys head off uh into the woods following hillip and he's like
[2844.4s] i don't know how far exactly it is it's supposed to be kind of here we'll just kind of go in and see
[2849.8s] abouts he pulls out a map of the area it's like it's he points like kind of right there
[2855.7s] i think is where somebody told me they last maybe been to it or just heard about it
[2862.1s] you guys good travelers well once i was traveling in the forest and i went to sleep
[2867.8s] and i woke up someplace like like 100 kilometers away 100 kilometers away
[2877.3s] it sounds like you're a really good traveler then right that's what i'm thinking
[2882.4s] interesting interesting okay you guys carry on through uh through the forest there
[2889.6s] um everybody make a perception check oh man 60 one 12 i'm just so jazzed up from zumba i'm still
[2899.4s] like got that song the bard was singing in my head just like a bard version of the shakira
[2905.8s] song isn't it it is now yes uh hillip sully and moot you hear a really loud buzzing
[2914.6s] coming from up ahead guys i i we don't know each other very well but i just need to say this
[2921.4s] right now is that i don't i don't like bees is that is that what you think that is why i'm
[2927.7s] hearing a buzz in it yeah it sounds like it's a bumblebees they they got the honey and it's
[2934.1s] really really great because you got the honey and you make a lot of money honey so that's
[2940.5s] what bumblebees are all about
[2947.0s] i turned to moot and i'm just like i don't know if these guys ever even seen a bumblebee
[2951.7s] description i mean he has the part about honey being right well yeah but i mean that
[2957.2s] could just be a metaphor for more money like i don't know are bumblebees all about
[2962.3s] money do i have this all wrong i mean i don't know but i guess we'll find out for sure
[2968.2s] thought they were pollinating flowers or something but um uh hey glim you got like really thick scales
[2975.8s] and stuff right uh are you scared of bees i'm not scared of bees i kept bees at home like
[2984.5s] honeybees you know we had a few hives of course you did yeah i'm not i'm not afraid
[2989.6s] of bees are you are you afraid of them oh yeah well i'm pretty sure i'm anaphylaptic or
[2997.0s] something like that but if maybe you could go on up ahead we're hearing some crazy buzzin
[3004.2s] and uh since you got such thick scales and stuff they probably can't even sting you
[3009.1s] so so just so we just so we clarify the thickness of dragonborn scales they
[3013.9s] they don't act as armor but they're more kind of they act more like just regular human
[3019.8s] skin they're not like full dragon scales oh so they don't add anything to ac or anything
[3025.3s] like that but i mean you can still say you have thick scales that's totally cool but um but yeah
[3031.3s] they're not like extra armor for dragonborn okay i just thought maybe like it would be more of like
[3037.0s] like a rougher or not rough but like a more like like as if like certainly a different texture
[3042.5s] yeah so i thought maybe i also am wearing like heavy armor so less penetrable from yeah
[3049.2s] buzzy cool little little b-butts those b-butts aren't gonna get me dang little b-butts um okay
[3055.6s] well hilip has kept walking during this um this interaction so he's hanging back i'll i'll go
[3061.7s] i'll go yeah up ahead sure i guess with hilip i'm gonna push him out of the way you follow
[3067.4s] kind of in behind hilip and then catch up to him and uh to hilip and moot are you
[3073.9s] staying with sully or are you going ahead too uh kind of in between okay then hilip and glim
[3079.5s] make an investigation check because you're looking around for things looking around check
[3086.6s] is a 16 um so you see it um before hilip does so you see it first um but you see
[3094.1s] almost like a two-story crack three meters up in a tree and it's filled to the brim like
[3101.3s] overflowing with a huge abnormally large beehive and like you see honey dripping down and out of
[3108.6s] the out of this crack in the tree uh okay and i kind of like tap hilip and point up and then
[3116.2s] like wave back whoa would you look at that that's the money that's the money spot yeah i
[3123.9s] mean you guys you definitely heard some bees hey anybody got any sweet jars or something
[3130.6s] or maybe we come back a little bit later and yeah she said casks we should fill her casks
[3135.8s] with all this honey no no no no because ma'am no sully's scared of the bees he thinks he might
[3141.9s] die or something so we should just let's just move along let's just move along pretty quick
[3147.5s] oh okay that's fine is the treasure honey no i don't think so i mean they said gold i
[3154.8s] mean gold honey gold it's golden honey it could be metaphorical but i don't see a windmill around
[3160.7s] here though no okay well let's just let's just keep going okay okay downtrodden kind of just
[3168.4s] keeps going looks back up at the at the honey some day i come back for you and get all the honey
[3173.8s] um
[3177.7s] what a what a creepy promise
[3182.4s] come back for you bees i'm gonna get all your honey as you carry on uh you begin to
[3188.6s] hear the sound of rushing water like a river um and you carry on a little ways and you
[3194.2s] actually come to that river and down ahead you see a bridge everybody make an investigation
[3201.5s] or a perception check uh perception check is it a bridge over troubled water
[3206.2s] it's a bridge over water fuck one uh 12 19 uh moot you definitely see um like hillop calls
[3217.7s] attention to it he's like oh it's a bridge and maybe it's on the other side of the bridge
[3221.6s] there might be looks at his map is there maybe it's kind of that area maybe on the other side
[3227.4s] who knows um but you see that the bridge looks like there are like panels broken out of it
[3234.2s] and along on the other side of the bridge you see um like a tree that has been knocked down
[3240.1s] and also extends across this this ravine where this river is
[3245.0s] so like the tree goes all the way across yeah and how deep is how deep and wide is
[3251.0s] the ravine um it is about 50 feet across and about 20 feet down river doesn't look like
[3266.2s] it's moving super fast moot uh kind of looks back at everyone says uh there's a bridge up
[3274.3s] ahead that doesn't look too stable um also looks like there's a tree that's spanning the
[3282.1s] ravine so i guess we have a couple of ways across that's cool that's cool all right
[3287.2s] let's should we go check it out then now i call dibs on the tree that bridge is sketchy
[3291.9s] don't get out okay you guys get up to the bridge and there are clearly panels it's like
[3299.3s] it is an old bridge it's a rope bridge um planks all the way across every every few
[3307.5s] panels it looks like it's been snapped and broken um the log itself looks like it's
[3314.1s] you kind of check it out it's pretty seems pretty securely in place also across spanning
[3320.2s] across and getting go okay so like that's a great idea because i think you're the lightest
[3326.0s] so you you're the least in the least danger i hope i hope so too okay are you going across
[3334.6s] the bridge or the log the log make and and stealth check i want to be like really like
[3344.2s] yeah that's not a that's not a stealth thing i'd be like an athletic yeah okay or acrobatics
[3350.6s] i could do cart stealthy car sure yeah you could justify acrobatics okay if you're doing
[3357.0s] cartwheels it's going to be a higher dc not not cartwheels 16 yeah yeah you kind of
[3364.0s] slip your footing a little bit part way across but um it seems fairly stable to you and you
[3369.0s] make it all the way across no problem okay well i'll give it to go here just see what happens
[3377.5s] uh hillip goes out um and he slips like loses his footing completely hits like a piece of moss
[3384.7s] or something and um falls straddling the log he's on the other side like oh good he takes a couple
[3400.3s] points of damage as he like rolls and is like holding on to the side and he's like it's
[3404.7s] slippery you didn't tell me it was slippery how much dick damage did he take two dick damage
[3415.9s] well i thought that you'd assume that and take your time because you made it splashing you
[3421.3s] made it look so easy there my tiny friend can you come help me you're like two steps into
[3430.0s] into the log i gotta come three quarters of the way back back over i can't see them behind me
[3437.0s] they might have left me for dead to go get some honey uh no no we're right here we're still here
[3443.3s] you're okay good can someone give me a hand or something maybe you've got a rope to help
[3450.2s] and pull me i can't quite get my handle
[3456.1s] i'll inch my way out there and grab his hand kind of pulls straightens up saying thank you
[3465.0s] good friend moot that one would have left me for dead i'm three quarters of the way across
[3472.4s] i'm not gonna say it again he stands back up and makes his way across kind of hobbling
[3477.8s] along but makes it without slipping your next are you sure yeah all right make a either
[3486.3s] yeah an acrobatics check is what we've been doing so far it's like a tight rep right
[3492.0s] acrobatics this has a 14 yeah you you make it uh all the way across there um no dick damage
[3501.7s] no dick damage no no dick damage you kind of watch your step around where um where hillip
[3508.2s] slipped and you make it all the way across okay guys i guess it's my turn okay be safe
[3515.4s] do i have to use acrobatics or can i use athletics yeah strength you can say it just has
[3522.6s] you know i think it's got it well because acrobatics would be dexterity athletics would
[3527.8s] be more strength so like unless you're like lifting up the log and using it to
[3534.9s] vault over which would be impressive which would be impressive that would be amazing
[3540.6s] but yeah probably acrobatics okay then that is not great it's a 12
[3549.5s] you get part way and it's a little bit slippery and you get kind of shaky need
[3554.2s] as you're going across um but you got those claws on managed to maybe i just lock in and
[3559.8s] stable yourself and you too make it all the way across nice job you guys you did so good sully
[3568.8s] wow did you like take gymnastics or something when you were little not that i will ever
[3574.8s] admit to you're very dexterous tiny friend uh now that small comes in handy sometimes
[3580.6s] yes now that you're on the other side of the uh of the ravine you see a pathway
[3588.2s] that goes into the forest and forks around a tree so there are two pathways leading further in
[3597.7s] where previously you had not come across a pathway what does your map say hillop which
[3604.0s] way are we going to go he's looking at it and say well i mean we're in approximately
[3608.6s] the area uh maybe we just go down one of these pathways and see what happens
[3614.3s] so your map doesn't really tell you which way to go no it's just more of a feeling
[3619.8s] oh is there anything on your map can i see your map he shows you the map it's a map of the area
[3625.4s] yeah it's something crayon though so i'm not entirely sure but the accuracy of this map
[3629.7s] we're like right about here any points to this is just a big green space yeah well we
[3635.7s] were here on the on the pathway on the high road with going down to water deep and now we're
[3641.0s] here in this forest this looks like a bit of a blue blue line there that could be this this
[3647.8s] river this forest is like and i like put my hands this voice is like like like four celly
[3655.2s] hands this is look i'm not going to take criticisms for my maps oh you made me bypass
[3662.7s] my honeys because you did not like the bees and now you're criticizing my maps
[3669.2s] he walks off in a huff oh well which path does he go down uh he goes down the one that shoots
[3676.0s] directly off of the bridge go down the opposite one uh do we stay with huffy pants well i think
[3687.2s] so i mean it's his adventure we're on right sure yeah you think he'd be a little more grateful
[3693.5s] he's very sensitive about his maps the map is garbage too you have to admit yeah i mean the
[3699.2s] river wasn't even on it i don't think but it's that's okay he says he has a feeling
[3704.8s] it's more than i have about where we are right now so let's go i have a feeling it could be
[3710.4s] demons this is for our buffy fans up there um okay so you follow behind him
[3718.5s] yeah sure you go down this path and into the forest and as you walk a little ways in it's
[3725.2s] almost like it opens up into a clearing you get another 20 or 30 feet ahead and you're
[3732.4s] catching up to hillup and you see him stop and look up and he says come come quick come
[3737.3s] over here now dad is there more honey up here everybody make a perception check as you kind of
[3742.7s] come up to 12 16 14 all three of you um you feel like the wind dies down like almost
[3756.5s] to a standstill any breeze that was there is gone and you look ahead and just above the the
[3763.0s] trees right in front of you at the end of this path you see the tip of a windmill
[3769.8s] stationary against the moonlight
[3771.8s] well i'll be damned
[3802.6s] oh
[3819.4s] we're not even drinking no can you believe it seems like russ is because i there is like some
[3824.6s] mouth some i did see like a can of something in his hand sparkling lemon water blue menu
[3833.9s] spiked with vodka negative negative zero vodka no no just going them going that clean bubbly
[3841.7s] water life yeah that's what that's what the kids are doing these days yeah totally hashtag
[3847.3s] bubble life come back over to moot and say where did where did your where did your friends
[3852.6s] where did your friends go where's my accent go where's my accent go cursed are the woods was
[3860.2s] part of today's adventure created by eric dollock licensed under creative commons by
[3864.2s] attribution 3.0 visit creative commons dot org slash licenses slash buy dash sa slash 3.0
[3870.2s] the songs long road ahead come play with me flighty theme and sheep may safely graze
[3874.4s] are by Kavin mcleod of incompetech.filmmusic.io the songs endless list and play a little game
[3879.4s] decision are by sasha ende of filmmusic.io all songs are licensed under creative commons
[3884.2s] by attribution 4.0 visit creative commons dot org slash licenses slash buy slash 4.0